Im So Goddamn Handsome Quote Funny
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The Deal past Elle Kennedy368,699 ratings, 4.28 average rating, 29,941 reviews
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The Deal Quotes Showing 1-30 of 275
"Sometimes people sneak up on you lot and of a sudden you lot don't know how you always lived without them."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Merely out of curiosity," she says, "after you wake upwards in the morning, do yous adore yourself in the mirror for one hour or two?"
"Two," I reply cheerfully.
"Exercise you high five yourself?"
"Of course not." I smirk. "I kiss each of my biceps and and so bespeak to the ceiling and thank the big man upstairs for creating such a perfect male specimen."
― The Bargain
"Him: Confession: I deleted all the ane Direction from your iPod when u were in the tin.
You're welcome.
Me: WHAT?? I'm going to buss u!
Him: With tongue?
It takes me a 2d to realize what happened, at which point I'm completely mortified.
Me: Kill u! I meant KILL. u. Damn autocorrect.
Him: Surrrrrre. Let's blame it on autocorrect.
Me: Shut it.
Him: I think someone wants to kiss me…"
― The Deal
You're welcome.
Me: WHAT?? I'm going to buss u!
Him: With tongue?
It takes me a 2d to realize what happened, at which point I'm completely mortified.
Me: Kill u! I meant KILL. u. Damn autocorrect.
Him: Surrrrrre. Let's blame it on autocorrect.
Me: Shut it.
Him: I think someone wants to kiss me…"
― The Deal
"Penises!
Sweet Jesus.
Penises everywhere.
Horror slams into me as I register what I'm seeing. Oh God. I've stumbled onto a penis convention. Big penises and pocket-sized penises and fat penises and penis-shaped penises. Information technology doesn't affair which direction I move my head because everywhere I look I see penises."
― The Deal
"I want to murder him in his sleep, A. No, I want to murder him when he's awake so he can see the joy on my confront when I practice information technology."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Hey, come up on, don't cry," he begs. "It breaks my fucking heart to hear you cry."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"She tries to take a step down the hall, but I tug on her hand and kiss her over again, and this time it'due south not a peck. I kiss her hard, losing myself in her sense of taste and her heat and every damn matter about her. I never expected her. Sometimes people sneak upwards on y'all and of a sudden you don't know you ever lived without them."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Baby, I could spotter you watching paint dry, and I even so wouldn't exist bored." Garrett Graham, my own personal sugariness-talker."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"I fight dorsum laughter.
"As yous wish."
"Did you lot really just Princess Bride me?"
"Did you lot really just use Princess Bride equally a verb?"
― The Deal
"How did I go so long without noticing you, damn it? Why did it take seeing a stupid A on your midterm to brand me notice?"
He sounds so genuinely upset that I scoot closer and kiss him. "It doesn't matter. You know me now."
"I do," he says fiercely."
― The Deal
He sounds so genuinely upset that I scoot closer and kiss him. "It doesn't matter. You know me now."
"I do," he says fiercely."
― The Deal
"The second I encounter his erection, my jaw drops.
"Oh my God, are you kidding me?"
He looks startled. "What's wrong?"
"Are yous taking human growth hormones or something? I snatch my hand dorsum, fighting another rush of nervousness. "At that place'southward no style that huge man monster is fitting inside me!"
Garrett'due south caput abruptly drops in the crook of his arm every bit a shudder racks his body. At first I think he'southward pissed off. Or mayhap fifty-fifty crying. It takes several seconds before I realize what'due south happening. He's laughing.
Scratch that – he's in hysterics."
― The Deal
"Oh my God, are you kidding me?"
He looks startled. "What's wrong?"
"Are yous taking human growth hormones or something? I snatch my hand dorsum, fighting another rush of nervousness. "At that place'southward no style that huge man monster is fitting inside me!"
Garrett'due south caput abruptly drops in the crook of his arm every bit a shudder racks his body. At first I think he'southward pissed off. Or mayhap fifty-fifty crying. It takes several seconds before I realize what'due south happening. He's laughing.
Scratch that – he's in hysterics."
― The Deal
"And the most important lesson I learned is that I'thou non a victim—I'thousand a survivor."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"He shakes his caput in anaesthesia. "Your vocalism is…fuck, Wellsy, it's cute." My cheeks heat up. "You think so?" His impassioned expression tells me he'southward dead serious. "Play something else," he orders. "Um. What do you desire to hear?" "Anything. I don't care." I'g startled past the intensity in his vox, the emotion now glittering in his gray eyes. "I but need to hear y'all sing once again."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Living well and being happy is how we get over the shit in our by."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Y'all invoked a campus-broad hands-off law? Are yous kidding me?" I'grand non at all remorseful as I meet her optics. "Of course I did." "Oh my God. Yous are unbelievable." She shakes her head in disbelief"
― The Bargain
― The Bargain
"Unbelievable. Every girl at this higher would cut her frickin' arm off to help me out. Only this one? Runs away like I just asked her to murder a cat so we could sacrifice it to Satan."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Never say never," he answers in a singsong voice. "Thanks for that, Justin Bieber."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Say it," he orders. "Say what?" I utilise the corner of his blanket to wipe the moisture staining my cheeks. "Say Garrett Graham, you are a sex god. Yous have accomplished what no other human always has. You lot—" I dial him in the shoulder. "Oh my God, you're such a jerk. I will never, e'er say those words." "Certain you will." He smirks at me. "One time I'g through with you, you'll be shouting those words out from the rooftops."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"What is wrong with you? Why aren't you freaking out right now? Garrett Graham is sitting in your berth. He talked to you." "Holy shit, he did? I hateful, his lips were moving, merely I didn't realize he was talking."
― The Bargain
― The Bargain
"So why do they phone call it the crease?" Dex asks in fascination after the second period commences. "And why does it sound so muddy?" On my other side, Allie leans in to smile at Dexter. "Babe, everything about hockey sounds dingy. Five-pigsty? Poke cheque? Backstairs?" She sighs. "Come habitation with me one time and listen to my dad yell Jam it in! over and over again when he watches hockey, and then you can talk to me almost dirty. Not to mention uncomfortable."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Sorry to burst your chimera, but you lot were really pointing at the old guy a few seats over. He totally freaked out and started shouting to everyone that y'all scored that goal for him, and then I heard him ask his wife if maybe you knew that he was just diagnosed with diabetes, so I didn't have the centre to tell him who the goal was really for."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"You won't let anything bad happen to me, volition y'all, Garrett?"
A lump the size of Massachusetts lodges in my throat. I swallow hard and attempt to speak by it.
"Never."
― The Deal
A lump the size of Massachusetts lodges in my throat. I swallow hard and attempt to speak by it.
"Never."
― The Deal
"Two minutes later, Garrett pops into the corridor, and I take one await at his expression and know he's most to deliver good news. "You passed?" I squeal. He raises his exam booklet over his head like he's acting out a scene from the Lion Rex. "A-fucking-minus!"
― The Deal
― The Deal
"It'southward similar that pond I skated on when I was a kid—from a distance, the ice looked so shiny and polish, until you got close plenty to information technology, and suddenly all the uneven edges and crisscrossed skate marks became visible. That'due south me, I judge. Covered with skate marks that nobody ever seems to notice."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"I clench my teeth. "I'm not a virgin, Garrett." "You're not a puck bunny either." "So that ways I'grand not allowed to slumber with a guy I'm attracted to?" He rakes both hands over his scalp at present, looking equally aggravated. Then he takes a breath, exhales slowly, and meets my eyes. "Okay, hither's the deal. I believe you're attracted to me. I mean—i, who isn't? And ii, you moan like crazy whenever my tongue'due south in your mouth." I bristle. "I do non." "Agree to disagree."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Fuck, I want to buss her again. I desire to feel her lips on mine. I want to hear that throaty noise she made the showtime time I sucked on her natural language."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"I flare-up into the locker room and— Penises! Sweet Jesus. Penises everywhere. Horror slams into me as I annals what I'1000 seeing. Oh God. I've stumbled onto a penis convention. Big penises and small-scale penises and fat penises and penis-shaped penises. It doesn't matter which management I motion my head because everywhere I look I encounter penises. My mortified gasp draws the attention of every penis—er, guy, in the room."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Hannah hadn't been moving suggestively when she'd belted out Lady Gaga earlier, but she certain every bit shit is moving suggestively at present. She's gone from Disney Channel Miley Cyrus to Full-on Twerk Mode Miley, and it'south officially fourth dimension for me to put a stop to it before she moves straight to Let'southward Make a Sexual activity Record Miley. Wait—has Miley ever made a sex tape? Fuck, who am I kidding? Of course she has."
― The Deal
― The Deal
"Ha! I knew you were into him! Oh my God! Hold my juice—I remember I demand to interruption out in a happy dance! Do you lot know how to do the running man? If and then, can you teach me correct now?"
― The Bargain
― The Bargain
"Sometimes people sneak up on you and suddenly you don't know how you ever lived without them."
― The Bargain
― The Bargain
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